You resolve to wear no more than one outfit per week. Total. (This resolution is quite possibly inspired by my completion of ten loads of laundry tonight. And that is not the only laundry I have done this week - I have done at least five more. That's fifteen loads, for those of you whose mind is numbed by the very thought of matching all those socks and sorting all those pjs.)
Out in the world you will fight off clothing stains like Wonder Women with her magic bracelets. WHAP!! You will prevent that chocolate frozen yogurt from drizzling its way down a just washed winter jacket in an admittedly poorly chosen pale pink. WHAP!! That white uniform cuff will lift itself up 3 inches, refusing to drag itself through a plate of ketchup as you reach for your drink. WHAP!! Your navy pleated skirt will magically repel afterschool art class paint, of both the glitter and non-glitter variety.
As you step over threshold into your home, you pledge to strip off your clothes immediately and don a paper robe, hanging your clean clothing in the closet by the door. You will wear that robe until you next dress in those same clean clothes in preparation to leave the apartment, at which point you will - pay attention now - ball up your paper robe and throw it not on the floor but in the garbage (the recycling bin if you are feeling especially ambitious).
Does this resolution seem too intense, too demanding? I do offer an alternative: do all your own laundry. I thought so. Don't forget the robe's opening goes in the in back.
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